Breathing… sometimes, barely… but breathing.
I used to think that was enough. Just breathing. Breathing through it.
Just getting by… not stepping too far out of the comfort zone of others.
Standing just on the outskirts of my own… keeping the door open, you know, just in case. Continue reading “Alive”
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I’m entering 2017 in a very weird place.
It is hard to put into words because I am struggling to understand it myself. Transitioning from one year to the next with Mercury firmly planted in retrograde is definitely adding to strange energy. The only way I can think to describe it is… Dorothy Down the Rabbit Hole.
The F5 tornado of 2016 blew in, chewed me up, and spit me out into a magnificent new year. it’s beautiful… bright, shiny, and looks better than the last year… but it’s still kind of scary. I feel like Dorothy… lost, terrified, and trying to make sense of how I got here (and why). I also feel like Alice… extremely curious and a bit anxious to test the unused portion of courage I found in Costa Rica.
So now is the part of this post where I am supposed to launch into all of the ways I’m going to kick ass in 2017 and other sweeping declarations. And here’s there part where I disappoint you by not doing it. Why? To be honest… I’m just not ready.
I am ready for a brand new year full of possibilities and opportunities. However, like Dorothy and Alice, there are some things I need to take care of first.
I nearly let a collection of personal and professional set-backs plunge me into a deep pool of depression since late September. It’s taken every ounce of what little energy I have to keep my head above water… to keep swimming… and to keep up appearances. I am exhausted.
So… Instead of spending that coveted time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve reflecting and resolving and choosing a word (or words) for the year like everyone else, I just simply pressed pause. Pause the blog. Pause the gig search. Pause the hustle. Pause the stress. Pause the overthinking. Let my brain breathe… Relax. Relate. Release. Reset. Apparently, Mercury is not the only thing in retrograde.
We are four days into the new year and four days left in retrograde. I can feel myself slowly emerging from my voluntary pause and my energy realigning.
Just give me a little more time… I’ll grab the White Rabbit’s hand and go skipping down the yellow brick road soon enough!
Let’s try this again… once more, with feeling…
Last year, I came up with an awesome solution to New Year’s Resolutions called Six (Im)Possible Things. It was great! It worked great! And then…. 2016 happened. (You know what I mean, right?)
In spite of the crazy whirlwind of a year, I still think that my Six (Im)Possible Things is a good way to approach my planned accomplishments for the new year! So I am, once again, giving it a go. I’ve revised the concept and posted it on Medium. Give it a try and let me know what you think!
Six (Im)Possible Things for 2017: A Resolutions Hack
Originally Posted on Medium
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Why are we so afraid of hearing yes?
I was pitching a potential client for a freelance writing assignment and just before I hit send, I froze. I panicked. I thought to myself… “What if she says yes?” It makes no sense… and perfect sense all at the same time.
“No” is easy. It is the norm for those of us used to rejection. “No” gives us something to talk (complain) about. “No” is an “I told you so.”
“Yes” is hard. “Yes” requires action and follow through. “Yes” is putting your money where your mouth is… and your oxygen mask on first.
“No” is comfortable. “No”- mans-land is a heavily populated place. And misery loves company.
“Yes” sometimes means you’re at it alone… or your only companion is Faith.
It’s hard to turn a “No” into a “Yes” after you said it. First you must say “Yes” to yourself. Only then will any “No’s” you hear be stepping stones and not roadblocks. Constantly telling yourself “No” before anyone else does is like walking around in cement sneakers.
It’s ridiculous how we fear success more than failure… That we choose ordinary over awesome. Why? Because 50% is not strong enough odds?
This is when a “Yes” becomes a “Know.”
Keep telling yourself “No” and you’ll never know that saying “Yes” could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you. If it isn’t, then you’ll know better. And knowing is half the battle.
How many times has ignorance really been bliss?
How many times has the phrase “what if” burned a hole in your soul?
How long are you going to watch life happen?
(and by “you” I really mean “me”)
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Let’s try this again… once more with feeling… (deep breath)
Starting over… a new beginning… a clean slate… a fresh perspective.
I’ve gotten comfortably numb. I’ve let myself go.
Things are going too well for me not to be in better shape… mentally… physically… It’s time to get back on my A-game.
I’ve fallen into old habits that need to be broken. I will learn to find more productive and healthy ways to satiate my appetite for travel, food, love, and life.
I’ve talked about this adventure called “My Single Serving Life”… But I’ve yet to truly put it into practice.
Now, I have reached critical mass.
No more crutches.
No more life lines.
No more safety nets.
No more fantasies.
No more excuses.
My fears will be managed… It’s okay to be afraid…
To be immobile is unacceptable.